Little Old Ladies in Tennis Shoes (LOLTS)

Just when you think you have it all figured out...a LOLTS, the cornerstone of American bureaucracy, dashes your hopes as another tries to do the right thing.

Yesterday I took the kids' medical paperwork to get it's final stamp from an office tucked away in the far reaches of the Fort Bragg hospital. I handed it to the lady behind the counter with the pride of knowing that I had circumvented the needlessly complex system and would be walking out with what I needed. Well, not so much. She practically took my head off as she quoted paragraph and verse from Fort Bragg publications and regulations admonishing me for trying to usurp the system. I explained that I was on leave from Korea so I was merely making do as best I could with the knowledge available to me. She wasn't impressed as she explained that we were now back at square one on all of our medical paperwork and that it was unlikely that a Fort Bragg doctor would see the kids because they are wards rather than "actual children". Yeah...

But this experience has taught us that when LOLTS throw an obstacle in your path, another is there to gush over your children and do whatever is needed to help you out.

Another office suggested that I go to the Patient Advocate Office and "throw yourself at Thelma's feet, she might be able to help". And help she did. Thelma listened to the story, gushed when I whipped out the kids' passport photos, grabbed them from my hand to show the other women in the office, and starting making phone calls. Within a few minutes we had appointments for three physical exams the very next day (today). Thelma rocks.

Then we were off to the main post office to see about getting tourist passports for the kids rather than wait for government passports. Again I was met by a LOLTS who while not unkind and unsympathetic, was unable to help us out. We got on the phone with the State Department who explained that they would require a court order giving us explicit permission to obtain passports on behalf of the children. Our attorney threw the BS flag and has since provided us with a legal opine addressed to "The United States of America" (rather broad) which explains that pursuant to NC general statutes we have legal and physical custody of the kids and can get a passport for them if we like. Although this makes perfect sense to me, it may not answer demands of the State Department (I don't like them anyway).

Back to the hospital - After the first appointment we had some time to kill, so we took the kids by Thelma's office to meet their benefactor. Thelma gushed and her coworkers gushed as Thelma went to get her supervisor who had been told the tale of how we came to adopt these kids. (Meanwhile, Thelma's coworkers are ripping through drawers to find stuffed animals and the like to give to the kids. We now have three new stuffed bears, three happy meal toys, and two ring pops.) The supervisor comes in and gushes and asks how the process is coming along and when we expect to be getting on a plane. We tell her that the medical aspect seems to be coming along but we are still messing with the passport issue. At her request we tell her what we've been told and she throws her own BS flag. She takes our contact information down and tells us that the hospital attorney has lots of contacts at the county courthouse and can probably get us a court order. Who'd have thought that the hospital might be the answer to our passport woes?

So, there you have it. Tomorrow we're off to the zoo!