smooth surfaces

As much as I try to be open and out there, there are times when I kind of sit back, inside, and process.... Then I open the blinds, let the light in, and take a step back outside.

We had a rough go w/ our precious J last week and over the weekend. We don't talk a lot about J on the blog these days..... And every so often I forget that he is a five year old - in the beginning of his adoption journey... in the midst of... so. much.

J is remarkable. I mean - amazing. He is smart and talented. He has grown so much (internally) in the last 10 months.

Most of the time I feel like I'm in the dark when it comes to J because I don't know him yet.

That's hard for me.

Would you guys remember J in your prayers?

I know the Lord has amazing plans for all three of these children, and I don't want J to get lost in the shuffle.

At five years old he isn't able to easily identify all of his emotions. Tie into that the strong possibility that somewhere along the way he learned that sharing his emotions was not always in his best interest.

I want him to blossom with us. To his full potential.

On the adoption front I have no new news. Not that there is nothing going on at all, because there always seems to be drama surrounding us. But - I have nothing "new" to actually report.

T did file for our tax return and if it comes back as it was SAYING it should..... it will help us out big time financially. THAT is a load off my mind.

Lately I think and dream and think and dream and never seem to be at "rest"..... to have SOMETHING move in a positive way would be wonderful.

The potty training.

Well, it's going. We're getting there. The twins love wearing underpants. They do not like having accidents. And. M FINALLY went poop on the potty yesterday. She had gone one other time before that, but, I'm beginning to think that was a weird fluke because after that first time - it was A WEEK before the second time occurred. K2 is a kind of hit or miss kind of guy. There is no drama with him, but, he has only pooped on the potty a couple of times.

It's exhausting as many of you know, but, I keep looking towards the finish line and how great it will be to have them OUT of diapers and beyond accidents come our move next Summer. That will make our journey back to the states a lot easier.

Right, that's what else is on my mind. Our move in six months. Our move to....... ????????? We think it will be the south east coast, but, we're not ever really sure with the Army.

I'm trying to "let go" as they say, and that takes daily effort for me. The other night when we were going to bed I asked T when all this stuff was going to be behind us. Not wanting to lie to me - what could T really say? He doesn't really know..... He guessed "within the year" which was not really comforting to me. So, what I'm going to have to do is appreciate the little smooth surfaces we hit along the way.

Step by step. Smooth surface by smooth surface.

xo
K.