is this what it feels like?

To walk in grace?

I've had moments in my life where I realized.... Wow. I think this is what it feels like to walk in God's grace.

In His peace.

I remember it with my Mom's illness. It was the night before a big surgery. The surgery was going to be a long one, and the findings of it would be told to us when the surgery was over.

I slept the night before.

For me that is huge. For a few years I suffered from severe panic attacks. The kind where I thought I was dying, lying on the floor, wondering what was happening to me. So, to SLEEP, well, that was nothing short of incredible.

I remember His grace when we moved from NC to RI. This was incredibly difficult because I had found new parents, a church home, dear, dear friends..... I had found "home." The week we moved we went through a failed adoption as well as pregnancy loss (my only attempt at IVF).

When we left NC I said to T "I never ever thought we'd be leaving here without a baby."

I was walking in grace.

It was almost strange feeling.

As I sit here tonight, typing this out on our lap top, I am thinking.....

Huh.

Here I am again.

Walking in His grace.

We have no new news. We still don't know how things will turn out. How long the road ahead is. How much more money we'll have to come up with. How many bumps lie ahead.

We don't know if we'll lose.

Yet.

I'm sleeping. I'm eating. I'm functioning.

I'm laughing. Socializing. Cooking. Cleaning. (OK. I always clean)

I'm emailing, blogging, reading.

I'm walking.

In His grace.

Trusting in Him, who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever imagine.

I'm so thankful that I have a God who is so much bigger than me.

xo
K.