Stages ....

.... of grief.

DENIAL - ( "this cannot be happening to us") "check"

ANGER - ( "why us") "check"

BARGAINING ( begging, wishing, praying......) "check"

DEPRESSION - (self explanatory) "check"

ACCEPTANCE - Ah, there it is. The biggie.

Our friend of a friend got word back to us. Basically, these very seasoned, experienced, and competent professionals all said the same thing our attorney told us.

Our adoption is over in the state of NC.

We would have a case, if we started from scratch, in the state of California.

Literally - from - scratch.

Literally - a - "case."

"Scratch" means....

Starting w/our birthmother RE-terminating her parental rights, sticking with us and the process, doing a deposition......

Continuing with the hiring of legal representation for us and for her.......

Everyone agrees that we would have a case, a good one. But, it's not a sure thing. Nobody can tell us that we would win in the end, because the birth dad still has parental rights, there is an open custody case, and there are family members fighting for custody, who will continue to fight for custody if we decided to continue to fight for adoption.

Something else everyone seems to be agreeing on is they have no idea how long it would take (months and months, perhaps years) or how much money it would take (none of this is free).

So, back to acceptance.

I believe (I HAVE TO believe) that if God was going to move His hand on this, He would have, or, maybe He still will.

I believe (I HAVE TO believe) that this is all so much bigger than T and me. Maybe, just maybe, there is a reason it all happened this way.

If I don't hold on to the belief and the hope that this all happened as it was supposed to, then I won't survive this.

I KNOW that God has heard our prayers. I KNOW that this is either His will, or He is allowing it to happen.

And because of this, I will stand firm, in my faith, KNOWING that my GOD has not turned His back on our family. That He is in the midst of this, grieving with us. Because like any Father, He hates to see us hurting.

And we are hurting.

So, thank you for your prayers (once again).....

Please continue to lift us up and we try to accept and move forward.

xo
K