32 hours

We still haven't seen "T" (birth mom) today... She's having issues getting back to San Francisco. Yes, this is actually where she asked us to meet her... she's still not here.... she's still in Fresno.

We're not going to Fresno ("T" had suggested this). K is sick. T (husband) took him to the Dr. this AM. He had a fever and has a mild ear infection.... It would just be too much for him to get back in the car for another long drive... "T" (birth mom) agrees....

But.

This post isn't going to be about her. Or my guesses about why she isn't here... I don't know. I may never know. We may see her tonight, or tomorrow (if she gets here).... We may see her if we connect and fly back through California on our way back to South Korea....

This post is going to be about the count down of time.

In a matter of hours, we'll be parents.

Adoptions take 6 months to a year to be "finalized".... but, really, I think the hardest part of the whole process is THIS. What we're "in" right now.

The whole "what if the birth mom changes her mind" part.

And I really don't think that's going to happen here. (And IF it does, then God will pick up the pieces, He always does).

So.

The thought of being a Mom.

It's really weird.

I keep checking with T (husband)... saying 'Are you OK?' 'Can we do this?' 'Are you freaked out?'...... He is fine. He said he knows we can do this.

Three kids. At once. When I get ahead of myself I really do get freaked out. I wonder if I can do it.

Then I hold one of them. Or look into their eyes.... Or I simply remember that God orchestrated this entire event.

And I'm flooded with peace.

These children were destined to be ours, before they were even born.

T has J at the park. I'm here in the hotel room with the twins, who are taking naps. They screamed like maniacs for quite a while before I looked right at them and told them to "stop it"... and, they actually did. :) ha ha! M is sleeping half on top of K with her rump in the air.

I will say this. These children love each other. And it's my honor to keep them together.

I cannot believe it's finally happening.....

None of this has been as I would have expected it to be... The chaos, the emotions, the sleepless nights.... It was much more difficult that I had prepared myself for. (and I really thought I had prepared myself).

Funny thing - this is the EASY part. Right?

Now we have to raise these little ones into good, solid, God fearing, people loving, truth telling, good stewards.....

I will literally have to take it one day at a time..... Giving each day, each moment to the Lord...

A little wine doesn't hurt either....

Love to you all -
xo
K