fifteen weeks

We've been going up and down here in our house. Some days I cannot believe how well things are going, and other days are not great - at all - and I wish it was March already.

I know not to wish life away. I know this. And. Most days I'm not doing that. I am trying to enjoy things. Life. Everything.

There are amazing moments where I feel so blessed - and I'm actually laughing and enjoying the kids.

There are other moments where I'm like ....

SERIOUSLY???

I want my husband home.

This weekend has been going pretty well so far. Friday was our first day of Summer break and J spent the day with friends and had a blast. The twins stayed home and did "cannonballs" in our inflatable pool all day. Today we went to the aquarium.... I THOUGHT it would be a FULL DAY event (I make that mistake often).... it took about an hour to "see" everything (I say "see" loosely). Thankfully I had a nice friend and her kiddos with us, so it made for some sane, grown up, time as well.

I've been wishing my mother was around to talk to lately. Not in a sad, I miss my mother so much kind of way.... but more..... Did I behave this way when I was young? And. If I did, I am so sorry. Also - If I DID behave the way my kids have been behaving..... then I know that SOME day they will straighten out and be ..... nice ..... and respectful. Hopefully. Well, it's at least - possible.

I feel like I don't know what the normal perimeters are. Plus - our family is so - errr - exceptional..... That I don't know how to factor that into our little equation. Also. Truthfully? I think I factor it in TOO much.

Almost in a way that is simply making excuses for the mayhem that is sometimes (often) our home.

I think about my reunion with T and I immediately tear up. I cannot even THINK about how crazy and amazing it's going to be to be back in his arms.

The funny thing is - after I hug him? I'll probably be like SEE YAH have fun reconnecting with your children!!!!

'Just kidding (sort of).

The things I look most forward to:

Feeling him in bed beside me.

Watching TV on the couch beside him.

Sitting in the PASSENGER seat while he's driving.

Sunday breakfast - he cooks on Sunday mornings.

Calling him - because I can.

OK. I can't write anymore because I'm starting to cry.

xo
K.