fellowship and deeper thinking

The comments that I receive from you, whether it's in person, on the blog, or via email, mean so much to me.

I am encouraged and touched. I feel blessed to be in fellowship with you all.

I think on your comments and emails and our conversations throughout the day.

I feel blessed to have you in my life - in whatever capacity it is.

I thought a lot about the most recent feedback I've gotten and am thinking a bit more deeply about this whole choosing peace thing.

Richele shared a verse and it really stuck with me:

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9

I've heard many a sermon on living for God, but, again, this is some weird new level of thought for me. It feels different somehow.

What if we choose peace AND we choose to take every single situation that comes to us as if it were sent from God Himself?

(I'm not saying that everything that does come our way IS sent from God).

Uh oh.... I just had a thought, and it's an "oh you were right" thought.... except it's not me that is right, it's T.....

T has been saying for a long time... 'What if God wanted us in T2's life?" (our birth mother).... He feels (strongly) that God chose us - to be in her life - that it wasn't simply about the children.

I didn't want to believe this. ('Just being honest)

But.

What I just said.... before.....

If we took "every single situation that comes to us as if it were sent from God Himself"....... well, then.... that would apply to our birth mother.

It would apply to - everything.

Even if it's not SENT by God... We still need to honor Him by how we handle it.

As I write this I feel like....

Good. Grief.

That would be HARD.

I'm supposed to be all nice and sweet and Christiany even when things are difficult? HOW????

But.

Actually....

If we were to live as if God sent "circumstances" our way on purpose... for a reason.... maybe it would actually be easier (to live life)?

Could it be EASIER to live that way?

I feel like I don't even know where to begin with this..... (I am remembering our not so smooth bed time/going to sleep PLEASE NOW time and how I didn't handle that so well)......

If I live like God sent everything that comes my way, my way.....

Can I still yell?

Maybe I need to apply this to the bigger things vs the little (constant) things.

Maybe not bedtime or potty training necessarily.... But, maybe circumstances in general.

Bigger stuff.

LIKE our birth mother.

Like that T just found out everything is pushed back further and we probably won't know where we are moving until APRIL sometime.... (and we are moving - somewhere - in July).

Like when our first hearing comes, T will be away for two weeks for work.

If I choose peace, and I choose to be refined in my circumstances, maybe I can handle all of this in a way that will glorify the Lord.

I was just reminded of an old Amy Grant song "Brand New Start" (I had to scroll through almost all of her songs to find which song it was).....

"Well maybe you can't see a change
You know these things can take time
But now that I've found Jesus, well
He's given me peace of mind
Now every day is just a chance to grow
Closer to Him
I may not win all the battles
But it's a victory in Him"

So, I'll try this. You may not see an immediate change in me.

But.

I'm going to try.

xo
K.