I was listening to T on the phone the other night.
He was laughing, smiling, and talking about his work. About how he "can't imagine doing anything else."
It made me feel better.
The next day I was down again, and found myself sobbing in the shower. Imagining T gone for a year.... it was just more than I could bear......
I tried to pull myself together.
While the kids were napping T and I sat on the couch and talked.
I asked him to be honest with me ..... fully and freely honest..... and I asked him if he believed that being away for a year was worth it..... His job, the mission, what he'll be doing over there. Is it worth being away from his family for a year.
Yes.
It is.
Suddenly my whole mind set changed. If T believes in "this" THIS much..... than I do too.
We talked for quite a while. .... T explained his view points, his thought process..... He explained a lot to me....
And it freed me.
It freed me to be OK.
To be part of the mission.
I realize that I am helping T do what he believes in so strongly.
I'm helping.
I'm not being left behind or left alone... or left back here.....
I'm part of this.
We're doing this together.
Together.
Well.
Why didn't you just say so?
I can do THAT!
xo
K.
(P.S. Please refer me to this post when I'm having a pity party for myself in the not too distant future)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
-
I have been smiling since about 4:30. It is hard to post about today, because there is so much that happened. Each day our court time was sc...
-
We went to the court house today. My Sister E stayed in the car with the twins, so the twins would be "available" for a visit with...
3 comments:
You can DO this! You've been doing it all along, you know.
You're so great at getting connected to your community - surely there will be a support group type of thing. I went to one when when Mike was away and it helped me so much.
hello :) i think we have a mutual friend who queued me into your blog (i think it's micki s...)....you CAN do this. my husband deployed last june and we have a 4, 2, and (now) 1 year old....i use my own blog as my outlet too! if you need to vent feel free to email me (micki has my email).....but you can do it!!! you are supported by some amazing spouses as soon as you look around!!!! (micki included)!!!
Of course you're doing it together and of course you will ROCK this deployment. But be not too harsh on yourself, my lovely friend - you can be sad and have a pity party now and again too. You're quite entitled. xxxxx
Post a Comment