i guess i'll just try harder to hear

It's often been said that a blind person can hear better than a person who can see perfectly fine. A quick google search revealed that that's not really a "thing". A blind person may learn to listen more carefully, because it benefits them to do so in situations like crossing the street, for example. A person who is blind from birth, may have learned, over time, to depend more on their hearing. From my quick search though... it would seem that it's learned. It's practiced. And it's not even all that much "better"...

This was interesting to me given my altered state of ...... seeing. looking forward. looking towards.

Most mornings I try to get up earlier than the rest of the house. Lately it's about 5AM. I use this time to wake up in a silent setting, to sit alone, to pray, to read, and to drink my coffee. This morning I was asking God to please talk to me loudly, so that I could actually HEAR Him, and so that I would know, really know it was Him. Then I considered hearing something from Him that I didn't want to hear.... and wondered (for about two seconds) if I'd want to hear something that... I didn't want to hear. That's a hard "no". I went around and around for a bit, in my scattered, exhausted, very sad and stressed out mind. Then I settled with the fact that God knows me, He created me, He gets my wanderings. He knows what I'm trying to say. Even when I don't.

This morning I read an email... and in that email, were words that I've already heard, but, not from this person. From another person.

The other day I read something in a devotional, that was already spoken over me in a text message.

I've been quoted THE SAME scripture reference, by several different people.

I've had verses mentioned to me, that were then referenced in that week's sermon on Sunday morning.

And ... I *think* but, am not sure, because I've just never been that confident in my ability to hear from God, or maybe it's confidence in my faith? Or in my level of intelligence? Whatever it is... I've never been confident in that area. BUT. I think ... God is talking to me... and I THINK that I'm hearing Him.

I'm trying to hear - better. And to listen - harder.


xo
K.