i chose one for today

Lots of people have "their verse". Mine has changed with different seasons. I remember the first time I gave myself an injection (during our infertility treatments). I said, out loud "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength" and plunged that needle into my stomach.

Here's the thing.

I don't struggle with believing in God's faithfulness. I know He is faithful. I know He will get me through whatever is ahead. I know that I can "do all things" with Him - in Him - BECAUSE of Him.

That's not the verse I want for this necessarily (even though I definitely appreciate what that verse means).

A dear friend shared a verse with me recently, and I'm choosing it for this season. For however long this season is.

Psalm 27:13 says "I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

It's a good one, isn't it?

I've got it over my sink, so I can read it about 28759485702918 times a day. I'm at the sink a lot these days.... washing vegetables and dishes and containers and juicers and food processors and knives......

My days are full of food planning and prep and juicing.

We are coming at this disease from every angle.

We had our "chemo teaching/orientation" yesterday.

I didn't cry.

We are in this now and we are walking forward, strong, focused, and determined. Together.

I've had a lot of good days in a row.... and I guess when a bad day circles back around, I'll deal with it then.

Right now I'm resting in good days.

My husband is also moving forward. Tackling things as they come. Intent. Persevering. Purposeful. Steadfast.

I still don't know how we got here. It all feels surreal.

I can't talk about it sometimes.... but other times..... it's ALL I can talk about - because it's my whole world. It's...... everything. It's. All of it. It's my very breath.

I'm devastated.

My heart is broken.

I have this...... huge, huge....... SADNESS that is just ..... part of me now. Even on a good day.

But you know what?

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

xo
K.