twenty weeks

Equals five months.

Five months down.

That's just crazy to me..... back in the day of 6-7 month deployments - we'd be just about there. But. It's not THEN, it's now. I am still not far enough into this deployment to count what's left.... but, I'm happy with what we've done so far.

Five months is no bag of peanuts. (Is that an expression? If not, it should be).

We kept very busy this week.... We went to the beach every other day and we seem to have a very good system down as far as packing up the car and what each kid carries down to the beach and back up to the car. It's USUALLY very relaxing, except on days that the kids decide they are going to go in deeper than what Mommy has said was OK.

We are - according to my school's out and when school's back in calculations - OFFICIALLY half way through Summer (enter cheering crowd here).

Again. That's no bag of peanuts.

Our therapy continues to go well, and again, I'm not really discussing it "here" but.... have discussed it (and am WILLING to discuss it) outside of the blog. The kids are progressing and I am progressing....... Everything that I have .......

FELT ......

these past two years..... has been validated.

Sadly, I was feeling very lost, depressed, overwhelmed and .... many other not so nice things since March of 2009..... and it wasn't "just" motherhood. It was a lot more.

I know Mothers feel all of those things - but - it was different.

It was more.

Now I understand that.

My kids have a past. A past that doesn't include T and me. A past that we could not control. A past that is a black hole to us. A past that we only see the effects of...... and have no answers to.....

But.

This therapy?

Is taking care of that. It is HEALING that time in their lives.

Thank. God.

I FINALLY feel like a NORMAL, frazzled and crazed mommy.

A Mommy with Hope.

A Mommy with a future.

It's a good feeling.

xo
K.