the dress

Three years ago I was out shopping with a friend. We found a dress that fit me, right off the rack. That's a rare thing for someone my height (4'11"). We immediately knew that it would be the perfect dress to wear to my husband's upcoming Change of Command ceremony. He had already been selected for a Brigade in South Korea. The ceremony wouldn't happen for another year and few months, but, it was official. I bought the dress and hung it in the closet, keeping it in the garment bag for safe keeping.

That was sometime in the Spring, if memory serves me correctly.

That Winter a cancer diagnosis blind sided us.

Fear hung over us like a dark cloud.

Command in South Korea was no longer on the table.

Just over a week ago while we were eating dinner, we were talking about the Change of Command ceremony that was going to take place the next morning, here in Hawaii. I shared the story (of the dress purchase) with our son. I explained that the dress I would be wearing wasn't bought for this day at all... That I had no idea I wouldn't be wearing it when I thought I would be... But, God knew. He knew that I'd be wearing it, and when.

I was getting a little emotional as I was talking about it, and I looked over at my husband, who said, "You didn't wear your wedding dress for the event you bought it for either, and I think that turned out pretty good".

That realization stopped me in my tracks. Reminding me of God's sovereignty.

I was engaged, a million years ago, to someone other than my husband. I remember the day my Mother and I went shopping for my dress. She had given the sales lady a cap of $300. She was not to show us anything outside of that price range. I tried on dress after dress, modeling them for my Mom. She paused at one, asking me to turn around, taking a long look. She asked me how much it was. I looked at the tag and said "$600". I continued to try on dresses. When the sales lady came back in to check on us, my Mother asked why she had brought that $600 dress in. The sales lady said "Oh, that one is on sale, it's half price." My mother told me to put it back on. I asked her why, saying she didn't say anything when I had it on. Her response? "It took my breath away."

So. I put it back on. And we bought it.

I won't bore you with details (unless I already have, in which case, I apologize)... but, I ended up calling the wedding off. I used the alterations money that we paid in advance, on having the dress "heirloomed" so it would stay in perfect condition, until the day I did marry (if ever).

I didn't know that my Mom would end up with cancer, or that she would never meet the man that I would marry. I didn't know that she would not see me in that dress, on my wedding day. But, God did. He knew. He knew when I'd get married, and to who, and He knew when I would wear that dress. He knew that I would take that much needed memory with me, as I walked down the aisle.

He knows.

xo
K.