Wishing you a Happy New Year. Really.

I took down the Christmas decorations yesterday. It's quite an undertaking in a military family's home because the decorations need to be packed to move, not just to nicely store on a shelf somewhere. I basically wrap each item as if it's going to be thrown off of a moving truck. Not a movers' truck. An actual moving truck.

As I sat, wrapping each item in bubble wrap and tissue, I found myself wondering what the coming year will bring us and what I will be thinking this time next year.

I'm still so surprised by what happens in life... It's true, what "they" say... Worrying does not prepare you for tomorrow, it only robs you of today's joy.

When Ted and I were first married, going to South Korea for a "hardship tour" was what I worried about. Then 9/11 happened.

I wondered if we would get pregnant when we decided to try. Four months later brought us a positive pregnancy result. I never worried about miscarriages... we had three.

I worried about our adoptions getting finalized... I never worried about our children being emotionally/mentally healthy.

I worried about travel of any sort, deployments, distance... I never worried about cancer (which. is kind of weird actually).

So, as I wrapped the nutcrackers, Santas and stars.... I wondered ... what is ahead... Will I unwrap this in Hawaii? Will we get to Hawaii?

What will happen?

Don't misunderstand. I don't live under a cloud of fear and uncertainty. In my opinion I feel I've done OK all things considered.

I just have a few trauma scars, and one of them is the inability to day dream. I've mentioned this before... I still don't have the ability to look forward. Cancer reminds us that we have no idea. We all know this, but, we don't really. We think we choose not to think about such things. I don't think it's a choice. I think we really just - don't get that we really - really - really - don't know what is ahead.

So when I wish you a "Happy New Year" I truly mean that I wish for you a happy, uneventful, nothing bad happens to you, New Year.

For the wonderful people I worked with and for with the legislation that was just signed into law ... I hope for you only good things, for happier days ahead, for peace, for healing ... for your grief to be less painful (somehow). For those of you with children that need healing, I pray for God to breathe life and health and strength into your child. For those of you with spouses that need healing, I am praying for better news and for complete healing. I am praying for finances to be "abundantly more", for jobs that are less stressful, for children to be protected and to have strong moral compasses. I pray that relationships heal and become strong and healthy.

I pray that when we open our decorations next holiday season we are in a good place spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.

May you be richly blessed this coming year.
xo
K.