approaching a year

It's December. In 16 days ... almost to the hour (as I look at the time) ... we will be at the year mark of T's diagnosis. Like many of us, I look back and feel like I've journeyed through an entire life time, but I also don't know how's it's been a year.

Those early months it took everything I had to move forward through the fear. Fear and anxiety is something I've always kind of dealt with, but, this. This was so .... thick. And suffocating. It was paralyzing.

The thing that really leaves me stunned is God's provision. His peace. His peace that makes - no - sense. None.

That if we let Him? He will take fear away. AND He will guard our heart against it. How do I know? Because He did it for me, and I'm a pretty tough case.

Bit by bit I loosened my grip... and every time I did, He took what I gave Him.

When I didn't know what to do, He showed me... Family and friends provided me with resources I never would have found on my own. People took the time to offer up all the knowledge they had, and when they didn't know, they passed me on to people who did.

When I didn't have answers, words jumped off the pages of the Bible and made sense to me .... and the page I happened to be on in my devotional that morning lined up with those words from the Bible.

Dear friends spoke things over me that were then confirmed by other friends who spoke things over me, that were THEN confirmed in a sermon, or in a song on the radio.

I have believed for a long time, that when we allow God to, He will carry us through the storm. That hasn't been my experience at all. It is my experience that in the storm, He carries me above it.

xo
K.