speak love

So..... I'm verbal. Not everyone is. And my "love language"? That's verbal too.... It's words of affirmation. But. There are other love languages..... Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Gifts, and Quality Time. (source for love languages is the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, which I cannot recommend enough).

So when I say "speak love" ..... that will look differently for different people.

Specifically..... for this post .... I do mean speak it - in words. (if you can)

Here's why.

I used to think that silence meant agreement.... and it does.... sometimes......

Like if someone is picking on someone else, and you stand there watching, and say nothing at all.

Lately though I've been feeling like silence can also mean judgment.

Like when you bare your soul to someone.... and they say nothing at all. Then, after some time, they try to tell you how you should have done it, or how you should have handled it, or what it should look like if a believer did it (for example). Or that we need to forgive (which is true) and if we DID forgive - it would look like ..... (fill in the blank)

And I don't think that's OK.

I don't think there is any room for judgment. Or.... anything that LOOKS like judgment.

So.

Speak love.

You don't have to agree. But. You can love. You can say something like...... "It took courage to share that, thank you for trusting me." Or...... "I can't imagine what you are going through."

If you are not the verbal type, and you really don't want to literally SPEAK, then speak love with a coffee gift card, or a bottle of wine (* raises her hand and jumps up and down, saying "me!!! me !!!" *).........

If you know someone going through something difficult you don't have to be "OK" with what happened. Nobody asked you to be OK with it. Or in agreement with it. Or supporting it. They didn't ask anything of you. So...... speak love.

If you don't want to speak......

Mow their lawn.

Bring their trash cans up from the curb.

If you see a Mom in the store with screaming kids smile and say "I have (fill in the blank) of my own" and she will know you've been there.

Because the truth is? Life is hard. It is really, really hard.

And even people with family and friends can feel deeply alone in their struggles.

And if you think your struggle is harder? STILL speak love.

To be in almost over your head in the raging waters of your struggle and to feel judged? ........ Well, that's like pushing someone under the water that they are trying to tread. It's not OK.

Love doesn't mean agreement or acceptance. It doesn't have to anyway........

Love means...... love..... just. love.

xo
K.