what to say.... what to say.....

When things get really hard...... I hunker down.... I pull in ..... I burrow down...... I hide......

Then.

I slowly emerge.

So. Yeah. That's why I've not been around.

To say "all hell broke loose" would be midly stating things.

A lot has happened in the past few weeks. A lot.

I'm not sure if I hit "rock bottom".... I imagine not. Rock bottom is probably near death or something, right? So. No. I didn't almost die. I did however question a lot of things. A lot.

I am still questioning some things...... a lot of the time.... but, not a lot of things a lot of the time....

So see.... not too much improvement, but, enough to be able to check in to some degree.

We need prayer. Lots of prayer.

Our family (read: kids) are in crisis.... things are much more complicated and complex than I ever realized..... Often (read: daily) I feel ill equipped...... I am encouraged when I share...... and I am reminded that we are not "called" to live happy, oblivious, lives.... That we are called for a purpose.

I have a purpose - is what I need to remind myself. That purpose doesn't necessarily equal "happy" (how unfortunate).

I also need to remember (daily) that it is when I am struggling that I realize I cannot do "this" on my own..... So, naturally, that pulls me closer to my creator.

Life is short. Eternity is well ..... eternity.....

So. Maybe I should concentrate more on THAT fact to get me through the daily struggles I currently face.

Maybe.

xo
K.