the best I can do is hang out in the kitchen, listening to worship music..... and apparently, blogging.
I feel like if I open my mouth words will come flying out and they (the words) won't stop.
The best I can do right now is to just. not. speak.
Which reminded me..... right .... yeah .... I haven't blogged about the challenge in a while.
Is it over yet?
What?
I'm only two weeks in?!
Over all I feel like I'm doing better than I was, so, I guess the challenge is working.
I still yell. And. I think I may just be that way until Christ takes me home. Or?
The first week I DON'T yell?
He'll swoop me up and call me home and call it a day (read: lifetime).
Seriously though.....
I've been reading more, I'm in the Word more, we found a therapist (we think) that one of our bunch will see, for the first time, tomorrow.
We are moving along, inch by painful inch at a time......
I keep making myself step back and really look at ..... things.
When I do that?
It really changes my perspective.
And that is what helps me to parent better.
Days like today though, I get buried underneath it all..... and as far as seeing a different perspective?
It doesn't seem possible.
Because I can't even see clearly.
I'm barely hanging on.
So. I stand. In my sacred space..... the kitchen...... and listen to worship music..... hoping that I will feel the Spirit surround me....fill me... hoping He will fill this house, pushing all the ugly - out.
xo
K.
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1 comment:
He is faithful that has promised to help us overcome. There are many a precious promise to rely on. Search for them and make them yours. I understand.... I also know that down here in the trenches, we get weary and tired and well pushed to our limits. This has been my deepest prayer that God would sustain me even when I think that I am pushed passed my limits. I realized I was fighting depression and depletion and I needed to take care of myself (exercise, sunshine, rest, etc...) and God has given me a measure of victory. I have much to learn, but our children from the hard places have helped me to know God's sustaining grace like I've never known before. Courage, friend.
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