Wanna come?
Oh.
Did I mention it's a pity party?
Yeah.
Yup.
Sure is.
Now. I know this about myself...... I let things build up. Not all things. Not with all people. But.
Enough.
One area I do this is with the kids.
So.
Here is where I am at.
I am looking at things and wondering how far we've actually come.
Have the changes been in the children or have they been in me? (And I'm in a crazy enough place that I'm not taking "both" as an answer).
I have gotten training, counseling, therapy......
I have become different. More informed.
Calmer (read: MEDICATED).
I have changed my parenting style.
When I sit and look at things..... (like today, after about four straight weeks of beeping beep beep beep beepitdy beeping beep beep)... I think.
Have things gotten better?
I feel like they haven't.
I'm tired.
I'm sad.
Really Really Really sad.
Like so many other times in my life I want to know how things are going to turn out. Good or Bad.
Just tell me.
Then I will know.
Then I will proceed.
But.
It's not that way is it?
God wants us to trust him with each step. And if we know the whole journey, there isn't much trust involved.
Drat.
So for now, I guess I'll have a drink.
xo
K.
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3 comments:
I get it. You can learn, change, adapt, modify, do it right in every way, all day long, and still not get the expected or desired outcome. It's a total crap shoot. It's anybody's guess.
So lovey, ease up on yourself. Have your pity party. I'll come, I'll B my own B, and drink to you because sister, this parenting gig is not for the faint of heart.
But that's not you - you're a warrior. And you are kicking ass. And I love you.
Dearest Kristin
God chose you for this because he knows your capacity to love is truly beyond what most of us can imagine. You are an amazing mother to these children and I know that it seems umpossible to see the forrest through the unending trees but it will come my sweet friend. God bless and cheers Jennifer Walker
My thoughts? You have come a long way baby. Everyone changes. Yes you have changed and your children have changed. That is part of parenting....you adapt and change with your children. They help mold you as much as help mold them.
Guess who else has been having a pity party lately? Give up? Me. I have an awesome life, great kids, fantastic husband.....BUT Iam being pulled in 1 million different directions and I want to quit. I want to throw my hands up and QUIT. Life is hard. But you and I are the same...we are Moms and we keep going even though sometimes we have to break for a pity party.
Love you girl,
Trish
PS....what time should I come over?
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